Every family is different I know, but most families like to keep those differences private like the bare bottom pictures they took of their two year old daughter. That being the case I will now be in more trouble with my family, but here it goes.
After we retired to Mexico, my wife and I decided to try to visit all our children, at least once a year for some quality hands on, one on one family bonding. This little slice of life happened when we offered to send my daughter and her husband away for a weekend together, away from the kids while we babysat.
They left at noon on Friday and supper Friday night was the first real go at it alone and it went something like this.
The bell rang. Clang………..CLANG, clang.
“Supper’s ready,” my wife called, know as Gran in this household.
“Gran, I wanted to ring it,” Abby scolded.
Gran let the scolding pass, as you must when you have a three and a half year old. Tyler and I continued to watch Sesame Street from the rocking chair in the living room. It was my job to keep him and the energy of his twenty-two months out from underfoot while Gran made supper.
“Graaann,” Abby scolded louder and with a bit of a whine this time.
“Yes, Abby,” Gran responded, still trying to make final meal preparations.
“I wanted to ring the bell!”
“Oh, I forgot, I’m sorry. You go ahead and ring it for me again, will you?” I could hear Abby race for the dining room.
CLANG……clang CLANG…clang clang CLANG clang.
“Paaapaaa! (That is me) Supper’s ready!”
“Let’s go get some yummies, Tyler.” He handed me his half empty bottle of juice and slid off my lap hitting the floor on the run.
Gran sat down his bowl of chili just as we arrived. Tyler pulled himself up into the chair, stood on it, grabbed a buttered cracker and started to lick the butter off.
CLANG……clang clang.
“Abby that’s enough. We’re here,” I said.
“Gran’s not,” was the reply.
“Gran is coming, now go sit down.”
“Meeee, me do,” Tyler pointed his cracker at the bell. Then he was off his chair before I could stop him.
“Me do,” and he grabbed for the leather strap on the bell.
“Now see what you’ve started Abby.”
Clink clank…….clank Clang
“Okay, good boy,” and I lifted him back to his chair at the table.
“Where’s my chili?” Abby said.
“Gran’s coming with it,” I said and I went to the kitchen to bring in the glasses of milk that already sat poured on the kitchen counter.]
“Papa, Tyler’s getting in the butter.”
I hurried back from the kitchen to find Tyler on top of the table scooping butter out of the butter dish with his soggy cracker. His knee had hit the spoon in his bowl of chili and had neatly flipped a healthy portion of chili on his pants and on the table.
“Tyler. Get down!”
“Bring a dish rag and some paper towels,” I called lifting Tyler back to his chair.
With the mess finally cleaned up and our food in front of us, my wife and I sat down.
“Okay everybody, let’s eat,” and I shoved the first bite of chili into my mouth.
“Paaapaaa, we forgot to pray.” reminded Abby.
“Okay, everyone hold hands,” Gran instructed. We made it through the prayer quite nicely I thought. Abby caught almost every word.
“Gran, Tyler didn’t close his eyes.” Wonder how she knew that I thought.
“Honey, he’s just a little boy. He doesn’t understand.”
“I have to go to the bathroom,” said Abby.
“Well go ahead and go,” my wife told her.
“But I want someone to come with me.”
“No, Abby, we’re trying to eat. You’re a big girl. You can go all by yourself.” Gran shook her head wondering what was next.
“Tyler, use your spoon, honey,” as my wife switched her attention to Tyler. He was eating kidney beans out of the chili with his fingers. He picked up his spoon and got most of a spoonful in his mouth.
“Come help me,” called Abby from down the hall.
“I’ll go,” said my wife.
After about five minutes of commotion down the hall, Gran and Abby returned.
Tyler started putting kidney beans in a row on the table. “Abby you better get busy, Tyler is almost done,” I said.
“But I don’t like chili. You gotta fix me something else.”
“Oh honey, chili is good. You haven’t even tried it,” Gran reasoned with her, but I knew it wouldn’t work.
“No I’m not going to eat it,” and Abby was about ready to turn it on heavy.
“I’ll warm her up some macaroni and cheese from the leftovers in the refrigerator,” and my wife started to get up.
“No, you sit still. It’s my turn, you eat.”
I returned with macaroni and cheese and set it in front of Abby. I put a nice gob of butter on it, just the way I like it.
“But I don’t want any butter on it.”
“Okay, Papa will take it off.”
“I have to warm up this chili,” and my wife got up and took her bowl into the kitchen.
“Paapaa,” Abby scolded, “we forgot to light the candles.” She was right of course, my daughter and her husband always tried to light candles to make supper special.
“Abby, we’re almost done now. Besides I don’t have any matches here at the table.”
“I’ll get them Papa,” and away she went running into the kitchen.
“Meee, me do,” and away went Tyler.
Abby came running back, holding the matches high over her head. Tyler came running close behind her and hit her in the back.
“OWWAUGH, Tyler hit me!”
I’ll get him. You get up on your chair.”
“Light mine first Papa,” and I lit the candle on her end of the table first while I held Tyler under my arm.
“Come on Tyler and we’ll light yours.”
Gran returned to the table with her chili steaming. “Maybe we should eat after the kids go to bed.”
I sort of laughed and half-smiled, “How many times have all of us talked about that before and the parents specifically asked that we eat together.
“I know. Too many families do not eat together. I’m sure it will not always be this way.”
Tyler, with one swipe of his hand sent about ten kidney beans flying to the floor. He lost his balance and in trying to catch himself tipped his glass of milk over.
“Tyler, that’s naughty.” I stood up to grab him.
“I think he’s done,” my wife said. She hurried to the kitchen and returned with a wash cloth and paper towels.
I turned Tyler over to Gran’s control and I wiped up the milk and got down on my knees to pick up the beans before someone stepped on them.
“I’m all done, too,” announced Abby as she put one foot on the floor and waited for our reaction.
“Honey, you haven’t eaten anything,” Gran was testing her intention.
“I’m not hungry.”
Alright, go, but no snacks later,” I said.
“I hate you, Papa.”
“I know. I’m just that old meanie. Remember no snacks.”
“Okay.” She gave me a dirty look. “Come on Tyler, let’s go play.”
My wife left with the soggy paper towels. When she returned a few minutes later she had this strange look on her face. “You know this is the first of five stops on our trip back to visit the kids and the next one is at your sons’ home. He has the two girls ages fourteen and sixteen. I thought they would be the biggest challenge. Maybe we should do this every other year, I am not sure I can handle much more like tonight.
I could not help it. I tried to hide a smile and almost broke out laughing. Instead I put my arm around her and said, “We’ll do just fine.”
Stay tuned.
