I'm here today to ask your forgiveness. Frankly, I have chosen you carefully, perhaps even methodically. You see, I have known you now for over a year, observing your many strengths and limited weaknesses. As writers, you explore the human soul, and I have appreciated the manner in which you share your findings in word photos, punctuation and unending parallel lines of wisdom. Twice each month you graciously critique each other, noting objections to form, style and content. Quite often, I have noted that you forgive your colleagues' mistakes of fact and other oversights grounded in faulty research. Forgiveness is clearly in your nature and that is why I have chosen you.
I am now known as Jim O'Doul here in Mexico. My real name is Martin O'Connell. I'm a former Catholic priest from Ireland and , more recently, I did the Lord's bidding in the countryside of Maryland in the U.S. My retirement from the priesthood was not voluntary. I would not ever "volunteer" to distance myself from God's work. Instead, I was shamed into it by allegations of impropriety that my superiors in a Maryland group home accepted as fact. No hearing was held and there was no appeal. Unfortunately, and not in keeping with what I've been told of the legal system in the U.S., no due process of law was involved at all. In spite of that and in keeping with the spirit of this moment, however, I confess to you that I sinned with youth in both Ireland and in the remote Maryland group home. My conduct was nothing less than reprehensible in both instances and, before you rightfully inquire, I should also confess that, all told, nearly a dozen young men were involved with me.
Standing before you today as a repentant believer in the Lord, I can assure you that He has forgiven my transgressions. My full confession was heard by a fellow ordained priest in Maryland and my absolution, in the eyes of my God, is complete. Oh, I see from the expressions of several of you this morning that you are not as certain as I about it. Or maybe, given the heinous nature of my acts, you merely wish it weren't so. But I'm getting ahead of myself now. Just hear me out...please.
There is no doubt about it. Traditional Christian teachings include the duty of forgiveness. It is obligatory, not discretionary. And consider this: None of those the social workers referred to as my "victims" were killed or seriously injured in the physical sense. Many of them came to the orphanage and group home as the unwanted-- discards from their own parents and families and not always for financial reasons. Little was expected of them, given their heredity. In most such cases, we know that expectations govern. However, I did strive, when not obsessed by my own demons of the flesh, to advance the boys' academic interests. At least half of the dozen altar boys and other students with whom I consorted did go on to fine colleges and universities. Some solace is found in that for me. I can only hope that you share my joy in those successes. Some of you do, I can see, but only some. Should the rest of you be Christians, please consider finding that joy a challenge to your own faith.
The forgiveness that I ask of you today does not include a prayer for selective memory. No, I humbly stand before you an avowed sinner, striving now to actualize my greatest good. Since my arrival in Mexico, I have volunteered for numerous community functions. My teaching of English to children as a second language is just one example of my unpaid "good works." I am also considering the submission of this, my plea to you, to the magazine, El Ojo del Lago, for similar reward. As you can now see, I am not some humorless monster, bereft of conscience. "Lo siento." I feel it; the pain will not vanish by my basking in the Lord's forgiveness alone. I know that I must somehow, again, gain the trust of my fellow men...and women in this community. Today is a beginning, I pray.
I come before you with what I know best, my Christian religious training and experience. Some among you have no such background and, perhaps, don't attend a church, synagogue or other place of worship. To you, I can only beg that you dig deep into your well of love for your fellow human, your personal philosophies that include appreciation for the concept of forgiveness itself or the purely pragmatic consideration of harmony among all of us. Should you be Jewish, you might be compelled to first require that I apologize to those who have been called my "victims." I urge that you not demand that of me because I am court-ordered not to have any such contact with those boys and young men.
I am truly sorry for my misbehavior and its far-reaching consequences. Can each of you receive me as a penitent and truly forgive me?
