I don't suppose you spend much time hanging out at the mercado, huh? Of course, you don't speak Spanish. How silly of me. Well, too bad. But then you live in Ajijic and they don't have a mercado there, do they? More's the pity.
The Mercado is a wonderful invention. Not only can you get fresh fruits and vegetables, fish, meat, canned goods, soap, clothes, menudo, sopes, music, watch batteries, cell phones, dried beans, chilies, shoes, cowboy hats, belts, bolillos, chicken, eggs, cream, tortillas, fresh squeezed OJ, and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember at the moment, but you can get something even more valuable. News! Gossip! Chismes! In other words, you can keep up with what's happening in the world where you live. It's better than CNN and is always up to date.
You want to know who's winning the election? Simply pass by several puestos and drop a discreet inquiry here, a straightforward question there, and pretty quick you'll have a good idea. Now before you run off to do your own private poll for Fox News you should be aware how this thing works. I mean you can't just go waltzing in asking a bunch of questions. No, no, no, you have to have your credit checked before you can be privy to the really juicy stuff. And as with any economy, you have to pay with coin of the realm.
For example, just anyone can find out who is getting married this afternoon at the church. Even a concerned onlooker can get information about who passed away last night. This type of information is common and as such carries very little value. More valuable, but still rancid with mediocrity, is information like who is an honest businessman in town. The closer the place of business is to the Mercado the more valuable the information, clearly, but if it isn't some one right in the Mercado then information about his business is readily available though payment in kind may be required.
Which attorney, doctor, or engineer is sleeping with his secretary or neighbor's wife is much more valuable information and will, without doubt, require a hefty payment. For those who aspire to even this journeyman's level of reporting "Neighborhood Watch" is an all-consuming abstraction. It is a common practice to try to pay for really valuable information by calling on moral high ground with the voice while trying to pass off some less worthy tidbit of information. At times even wishful thinking will be evoked to try to cover rubber checks drawn on the First National Bank of Gossip. However, since veracity can be checked in a matter of minutes then anyone attempting to bounce a hot gossip check will be found out. Then that information becomes news and cancels out whatever debt was left owing.
In the Mercado news hierarchy there are those who are masters of their craft. These select few are, perhaps, born with their talents. All other members of the society defer to them in matters of extreme value. These people not only gather news directly but also have runners or snitches in their employ. For the really, really juicy sound bites one must seek out these masters and cultivate acceptance into the inner circle.
As is true for most exclusive clubs one must not only show promise but come with introductions. Pedigrees, as it were. Memberships transfers from one Mercado Fraternity to another are sometimes accepted for the truly gifted. But, for the most part entrance to the inner circle must be earned. The workings of the inner circle are known to only a select few and having been sworn to secrecy I can reveal only some of the methods of verifying information. I can tell you that any information of value is checked with the folks in the taco stands and with the people in the tortillerias and others. I can also assure you that truly valuable information is very closely guarded.
Even so, as a professional courtesy, I must dangle a sound bite or two and tell you that it is known who killed his wife and got away with it, which gringo is riding around town picking up little boys, and which Mexican woman is fleecing the Norte Americanos to feather her own nest while pretending to be doing community service. Of course, I can't give you names unless you have something to trade. Coin of the realm, please.
Kind of makes you wish you understood more of this Mexican culture thing, doesn't it?
Editor's Note: Mr. Bridges is an anonymous contributor to our publication who often presents his views in a provocative manner. He is liable to play the devil's advocate in order to shock his readership into realizations about the Mexican culture. His goal is to educate, not offend, and should be read accordingly.
