At a recent local AA meeting, someone defined "sanity" as the unconscious becoming conscious. In my case, the words are precise. Alcoholics Anonymous helped me to regain my sanity, and thus to enjoy the fruits of a loving and generous life.
There's a reason we drink too much. And if you think you drink too much, you probably do. There's a reason we unconsciously work at hurting ourselves. Discovering that is a truly-marvellous adventure; dealing with that can be an emotional challenge. God, personal or otherwise, and AA's dedicated fellowship are there to help, every step of the way-quite literally, to discover and deal with the monsters of yesterday.
We've all been there. There's nothing you can admit, that hasn't already been admitted. Your deep-dark secrets have all been heard before, either privately or in the rooms of AA. There's nothing you've done, or that's been done to you, that someone in AA hasn't heard or experienced. In other words, we were all, in some form, liars, cheaters and thieves. I was good in all three categories; I had a half-a-lifetime of practice.
Paraphrased from our Big Book, we often live our lives in fear-fear of not getting something we want, or fear of losing something we already have. Until we take the time and substantial effort to look, we have no consciousness of how fear has permeated our existence. To be able to identify it is rewarding; to see it is freedom-granting; to deal with it, everyday, in every moment...that's sanity.
June Calwood, author and Canadian-extraordinaire, 82 years, in her last interview, remarked: "You spend your entire adult lifetime dealing with the events of your youth." It's a beautiful interview; find it at www.cbc.ca/thehour.
Hi, my name is ____, and I'm an alcoholic. I don't drink anymore. I haven't for 7 years, this month. I admitted to a guy that I might have a drinking problem. We immediately drove to the bookstore, and he bought me a book-The Courage to Change. "Change? I don't want to change; I just want to quit drinking." His attempt at launching me into the AA program failed. Soon, I was drinking again. It was 5 years until I tried AA again.
I am grateful now, everyday, that I'm an alcoholic, because in the end, it is all about changing to a whole new way of seeing the world, and interacting with it-to become free. AA frees you from the booze, but more importantly, it frees your soul.
Today, I am honestly grateful for everything, whether I have a little or a lot, of whatever it is. If I'm grateful, I become humble enough to enjoy the here-and-now. If I'm grateful, I don't need to wear the mask of false-pride. It all starts so simply-being grateful to AA and your higher-power for allowing you to choose to not have a drink, just for today, and sometimes, just for this hour.
My friend was right about change. I went to AA to stop drinking. AA also taught me how to live. Once I understood my life, I wanted to change. I could see there was something much better. I wanted what they had.
Hi, my name is ____, and I'm a grateful alcoholic. And it's only going to keep getting better, every day, for the other half of my life. With the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I can count on that.
