"Tomàs, es verdad que sus amigos estan peleando a su club?"
This was asked me a number of times in the last week. I suppose that you can figure out why they were asking and what they meant by the "club". The only answer I could give is to put my head down and sigh.
"I thought the people there were supposed to be helping the Mexican community or Mexican children or something like that, aren't they?"
"Yeah, that's what they're supposed to be doing."
"I don't think I want my kids over there. It sounds like those people aren't any better than kids themselves. Aren't they too old to be doing that kind of thing?"
"Yeah, they are, I guess."
How are they going to help anyone when they aren't ‘educated' (don't have manners)?
"I don't know."
"Ayee, Tomás, I don't think I need that kind of help.
This exchange was always followed with a laugh which wasn't complimentary. Unfortunately, I understand.
In this column I have tried to suggest behavior sets which would prevent embarrassment to my compatriots but after this event, which would be more appropriate on a junior high school playground, I have nearly lost all faith that any written words will get through.
I'm not just talking about the individual who got arrested and sent to consider the error of his ways in the Chapala "bote"("Hey Tom, is it true that your friends are fighting at their club?")
It isn't that they are trying to find out what happened. There is very little that happens in the "big houses" that isn't on the gossip circuit in a matter of hours. I am always astounded when gringos aren't aware that their actions are being judged by the entire Mexican community within hours of any given event. This event got very few score cards with high numbers: 1's and 2's were pretty common. So I can't even imagine the damage done to the many class acts that do all they can to understand and help the Mexican community.
Well, the dastardly deed is done and there is no return in crying over spilt milk, is there? Even so, I would certainly hope that there would be a good deal of soul searching to make sure that such an event does not repeat itself. I might suggest a couple of thoughts which could serve as a bridge around this kind of problem.
One would be that when we come to Mexico we are starting over. No matter what we were or what we thought we were back in that other life, we aren't that any more. We come to Mexico with a clean slate. We have no authority. We have no power. We must prove ourselves as though we had never lived before. Oh, we most certainly bring our knowledge with us but we have no history and no one is compelled to honor that knowledge. Therefore we must earn our respect all over again. Those who have earned it once will have no problem earning again, I suspect.
Another thought which can be used as a bridge is to consider that we can't and shouldn't try to "fix" Mexico. We may think we have solutions for any number of problems but before we try to implement those solutions it could be wise to put on a pair of huaraches and walk a few miles in those bad boys before we decide if we know anything about solutions or not. It has been my experience that my "solutions" very rarely addressed the real problem. More often than not, my solutions were nothing more than trying to make things be the way they were back in the old country. The real problem often wasn't a problem at all - just my limited point of view.
A final bridge might be living in a "polite" world. I don't mean that politeness is dependant on circumstances or even on other people. I mean that we should try to live in a state of continual politeness. If that is not possible then the problems which we see must, by definition, reside in us.
We have all heard that old saw about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar and it certainly applies here in Mexico Lindo. There is little which will cause hackles to rise as fast as "mala educacion" in these here parts. Who knows if you were to try such an approach to life you might even like it. Why not give it a try?
I mean, an officer of the "club" threw coffee in someone's face! What would he do if his maid didn't mop his floor correctly? Then on top of all that the guy who was trying to break it up gets smacked in the nose. No wonder the Mexican people who are asking questions about this are smirking when they laugh.
